Kindess is not a weak word

  When we serve in leadership positions, whether inside of the church or outside, we may find that the challenges we face sometimes require us to grow and change ourselves. Recently, I was involved in a large project; it demanded a lot of time and resources. Some people became dissatisfied that their pet projects were to be set aside for a time.  One individual became offended and began to express anger that their project didn't receive the resources they felt were "owed" to them.  I found the statements and anger expressed to be self-serving and short sighted.  In response, I could feel anger building up in myself.

I knew that the project needed everyone's effort.  As a leader, I had a choice:  give in to my own anger and frustration as a way of manipulating  this individual or find a way of side-stepping contention and get everyone back on track with the larger, more demanding project.  I really wanted to do the first, after all this person was acting like a jerk!  Instead, I chose something better.  I decided to do as Alma taught in the Book of Mormon :

"Now, as I said concerning faith--that it was not a perfect knowledge-- even so it is with my words. . .

But behold, if ye will awake and arouse your faculties, even to an experiment upon my words, and exercise a particle of faith, yea, even if you can no more than desire to believe, let this desire work in you, even until ye believe in a manner that ye can give place for  a portion of my words. (Alma 32: 26-27).

The motto we have chosen to use for the BYU Former Student Officers Society comes from an address given by  President Gordon B. Hinckley.  Speaking at a Regional Conference of Priesthood Leadership in the Boston Massachusetts area on April 22, 1995, President Hinckley said, "Kindness, civility, decency, honesty, integrity, in our relationships--these are the qualities we need." (Gordon B. Hinckley, Discourses of President Gordon B. Hinckley Vol I: 1995-1999, Deseret Book. 2005. Pg 270.)

As I faced my co-worker, both of us by now offended and angry, I could hear these words from a Prophet of God ringing though my head, "Kindness, Civility, Decency, Honesty, Integrity."  I thought of Alma, and decided to try a faith experiment on the word.  The word I chose from among the group was kindness.

I took a deep breath, like you would jumping off a cliff, and then said, " I realize that you are being required to make sacrifices for this project, but all we are really asking for is a little kindness on your part."

In an instant, I was looking at a person with a very different countenance.  The anger was gone!  My own anger was replaced by respect.  My co-worker had  done just as Alma describes, "Therefore, blessed are they who humble themselves without being compelled to be humble; or rather, in other words, blessed is he who believeth in the word. . ." ( Alma 32:16)