Leadership and LDS Women: Carpools and Conference Calls

Recently the Press has spent a good bit of time questioning whether LDS Women are given the same leadership rolls as men. Many focus on the influence of only a few visible positions as a measure of all women's experiences in the Church.

Many people miss the equality of opportunity given to women in the organizations of the Mormon Church. I want to stand up and be counted. My husband and I jointly share the Presidency of a Brigham Young University Alumni Society for people who have shown a desire and skill to lead. No, BYU isn't the Mormon Church, but it runs on the same principles.

 In my normal life I am a housewife and a mother. I teach part-time. When my kids were younger I did the carpool thing like so many other women. But when I go to BYU, I am an executive. I help organize meetings that involve well-known leaders in government and in the church. through my duties I have met with many of the same men who are addressing the general membership of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints during LDS General Conference. I have had the blessing of meeting with Apostles and Seventies and I can say that I have never felt that they looked down on my leadership responsibilities or capabilities. My husband and I are actually in positions of leadership over two Apostles. I have very different responsibilities from them, but my net of service takes their needs and interests into account. Within the bounds of the Society that I help to lead, I, as a woman, have authority over them.

I acknowledge that women can experience oppression. Women can be marginalized, but it isn't through the leadership of a truly Christ like man. Real men, real leaders and real followers of Christ know that sometimes it is a woman' s place to be at the head of an organization and they respect and honor these women as they serve and as they receive personal revelation for their stewardship.

Women and leadership in the LDS Church means I give prayers at meetings full of high powered men. My contributions are heard and my experiences are honored. I am also lucky to have had other bright, determine and talented women as my role models. All of them active and satisfied leaders of their families, communities, employers and the world.

Some days I wish I had fewer leadership opportunities! I could have more time to feel bored and dissatisfied with my life. For now, I will just have to accept my loss of free time with family and the extra time and expense and sleepless nights and worries about budgets and conference calls. Lack of Leadership responsibilities for LDS women? Some days, I sure wish that were my problem!

A Season of Light

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Visiting Temple Square was one of my favorite memories while living in Utah.  Despite the cold and the crowds, it was always a wonderful experience to visit the Square during the Holiday season.

After graduation from BYU, my husband and I moved away from Utah.  When our children were small, we wished that we could take them to Temple Square to see the beauty and feel the spirit, but that wasn't possible, so instead, we decided to create Temple Square in our home.  Over the years, we have developed some unique traditions, but we love them and people often ask us to share them, so we have decided to share some of them with you.

Everything about Christmas on Temple Square is focused on inviting the Spirit.  As a result, we decorate with simplicity;  our tree has only white lights and a star on the top.  We put up different styled Nativity scenes, each telling the story of the Savior's humble birth in their own unique and beautiful way.  We also put a few special ornaments on the top of the piano that commemorate special family experiences in various Temples.

We teach our children about the Light of the Season when we gather to remember our ancestors who celebrated the tradition of Chaunuka.  For each of the eight nights of the celebration, we gather together, light our menorah candles and tell first, the history of the ancient Jewish Temple then about the importance of modern temples in our lives.  Each night we talk about different principles of the gospel and how choosing to live them has been a source of blessings and, even in some cases, miracles in our lives and in the lives of our ancestors.

During this time of the year, we testify of the importance of everything about the Temple, and how darkness has been turned away by the light given to us by having living prophets.  On the final night of our celebration, when the room seems to be filled with candle light, we teach and testify of the birth  and eternal mission of our Savior, whom the scriptures refer to as "The Light of the World." (D&C 11:28, John 8:12)

We hope that each of you are able to find joy in the true meaning of the Holidays.  No matter how you celebrate Christmas, it is our hope that you will find peace and renewal of your testimony in the life and mission of our Savior, Jesus Christ.

Donating to the BYU Archives

Maybe you don't think you are important, and when your spouse reminds you that it's your turn to load the dishwasher, maybe you feel it even more strongly, but that may not be true at all!

Many times I would spend time in the kitchen of my father-in-law's house and listen to him tell the stories of his experiences as a young missionary, but never did I image them to be important to the history of Brigham Young University or to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints!

My father-in-law was one of the first LDS missionaries to serve in the Palestine/Syria mission following the partition of Israel.  His companion was Carlos Asay,  Harold had wonderful stories to tell and I loved hearing them when we would visit for family reunions, but I didn't realize the value of his service until after he had passed away.

Sorting through the estate, the Spirit helped me to know that Harold's missionary memorabilia was important and needed to be preserved.  We then arranged to have these items donated to the Harold B. Lee Library.  We contacted John M. Murphy the Curator of 20th and 21st Century Western and Mormon Americana manuscripts for the L. Tom Perry Special Collections.

Brother Murphy advised us on how to prepare the items we would be donating in behalf of Harold's family and did a wonderful job of letting us know how important it was to the University and the Church to make these items available for future generations.  One of the benefits we received in donating his papers to BYU was in having an opportunity to tour the marvelous Archive collections.  Wow, the BYU Library houses the history of human thought and experiences!  We touched history (with gloved hands of course) and felt how BYU loves and cares for the histories of mankind.

During our 2011 gathering, Brother Murphy came to our reunion dinner and invited all to take advantage of the services provided by the archive.  They are particularly interested in histories, photos and journals of Latter-day Saints who have served as missionaries or who have records of their war experiences.  When you watch a documentary about church history or about the faith of the Saints, you are watching what was recorded and preserved by ordinary people, just like you.

Any items you donate to the BYU Archives can be viewed by your posterity, and they can make an appointment to view your donation at any time.  No house fire or flooding will ever destroy it and all your posterity will have equal access to it.

We want to continue to encourage you to consider donating any memorabilia you have from your days at BYU or from your life's pursuits.  Many of you will be like my father-in-law, blessed with amazing stories and experiences that need to be shared with more than just family.

If you have questions or would like to arrange to make a donation, please contact:
John M. Murphy
(801) 422-6370/ FAX: (801) 422-0461
or you can contact him by 
E-MAIL: john_m_murphy@byu.edu  

Mailing address:
L. Tom Perry Special Collections
Brigham Young University
1130 Harold B. Lee Library
Provo, Utah  84602-6877

2011 BYU FSOS Reunion: President's Advisory Board Meeting, Leadership Meeting, Reception and Dinner

2011 BYU FSOS Reunion Notes

Leadership Training-This meeting was attended by about 10 people.

A problem occurred with the room assignment for this meeting as well.  

 This room was not shown on the Wilkinson Center map and people had 

to guess as to the location.  Next year the room needs to be larger to 

accommodate more people.

Item #1:  We proposed and then voted on the following business items:

     Proposal 1:  Those who come to the leadership training meeting

(Spouses included) will be considered a quorum, capable of voting and 

representing the whole organization.

a)     Proposal was seconded.

b)    Proposal was passed unanimously.

     Proposal 2:  Richard and Cynthia Connell, given the office of Presidents 

and Co-chairs of the Brigham Young University Former Student Officers Society 

by Bill Brady, former president of the same organization be officially accepted 

as the new presidents.

a)     Proposal was seconded.

b)    Proposal was passed unanimously. 

     Proposal 3:   The length of the time for a presidency’s term of office will 

be left undefined for now and the selection of the next president/presidency 

shall be left to the discretion of the current presidency.

a)     Discussion of this proposal had to do with clarification of its intent.  

 The intent of this proposal is that both the duration of president’s term 

of office and the process for the selection of the president should be 

addressed at a future leadership meeting after the filling of positions of 

additional officers.   For now, this will officially give the presidents the 

ability to (if necessary) to quickly pass the leadership of the organization 

into the hands of someone they feel will "raise the torch" of the BYU FSOS 

and help it burn brightly.

b)    Proposal was seconded.

c)     Proposal was passed unanimously.

Item #2:  First leadership Challenge 

a)     A short discussion was held about doing an ancestral leadership chart.

                               I.      Each member is to ask themselves, "How were my ancestors

leaders?"

                            II.      Then ask themselves, "What characteristics did they possess?"

                         III.      The third question they need to ask themselves is, "What does

this mean to me?"

The purpose for the challenge is to invite members to think upon their heritage 

of leadership as it might apply to their unique needs as leaders today.

Item #3:  The Second Leadership Challenge 

Obtain a copy of the Principles of Leadership, Teacher Manual, Religion 180R, 

CES manual (available on-line).

Obtain a copy of the LDS Family Services Addiction Recovery Program manual 

(available online).

Become familiar with both of these manuals so we can both teach them and 

bring ourselves more into alignment with both the leadership methods and 

personal characteristics required by the Lord.  We must lead ourselves first.

Members are invited to email the experiences they feel comfortable sharing 

with the group so we can post them.  We will be interested in reading about 

any insights or experiences with the Genealogy Challenge and with the 

Leadership Challenge that you found helpful.

Item #4:  Anne Snow shared with us that the Harold B. Lee Library has many 

of the past records of the former BYUSA/ASBYU presidencies. They are 

available to be seen, copied and read through.  She showed us some examples 

she had just copied and also her scrap book that had many newspaper clippings 

of her days at BYU during WWII.

Item #5:  Cynthia told about Nephi’s leadership challenges that can be read 

in 2 Nephi, chapters 2-5.

Item #6:  We watched part of BYU’s production, Voices of Leadership   

 (copies were available to take home).

Item #7:  We were asked if the FSOS would ask for dues and donations from 

their members.  A valid observation was made that former alumni were being 

asked by multiple BYU organizations to donate money.  They were concerned 

that the FSOS would do the same. 

We answered that we were considering giving members the option of helping 

to pay for the dinners of those who cannot pay for themselves.  We answered 

that we would keep their concerns in mind as we planned for the future.

The Reception

The reception went well but attendance was light because of a traffic jam on 

the highway.  Debbie Forrest and her brother Mike Hutchings greeted people 

as they came in, handed out name tags and asked people if they would like to 

volunteer for committees.   3 additional students were asked to assist in setting 

things up and taking photos.  Because of these five volunteers, things ran smoothly 

during the reception.  

A crane had tipped over across and through part of the building next to the

 'Food to Go" area and they were trying to get all the food orders out so they '

could evacuate the building, but it didn't effect us.

Anne Snow had brought in some BYU memorabilia and we set them on a

table in the reception room.

The Dinner

We started the dinner late because people were still arriving. 

John Murphy spoke about the benefits of donating people’s papers to 

The BYU Archives.

Cynthia talked about the leadership challenges (the handouts having been 

put out at each person’s place setting -- this was a good idea and should be 

repeated for next year’s leadership challenges).

The Fireside

Heber Kapp spoke about Christ serving the individual when He came to the

Americas.  Of having people feel the print of the nails in his hands and

feet one by one, blessing their children, their sick, the twelve (twice)

all these groups-one by one.   He said that many leaders just want to

give out directions and have their people take care of the individuals.  Not really 

dealing with the individual personally.

Ardeth Kapp spoke about the importance of using our time well since we

pay for each moment literally with our lives.  She told several

leadership-of-self lessons she had learned.  

Each of us have a constant companion that is always with us and whose influence 

will either guide us to greatness or ruin.  

Both talks were excellent and are well worth our special attention.  The dinner 

ended on time and everyone seemed to be pleased with how things turned out.

"Leadership of Self" (PART III) by Ardeth G. Kapp given on Oct 7, 2011, Provo, UT.

VI. AND HOW IS THIS TO BE?

My father in the last stages of stomach cancer, when his spirit had outgrown his body, stood the last fast and testimony meeting before his “graduation” as he called it and recited: 

 MOSIAH 3:19  “For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father.”

 IT BEGINS WITH A BROKEN HEART AND A CONTRITE SPIRIT WILLING TO SUBMIT OUR WILL To His  AND TAP INTO THE SOURCE OF DIVINE LEADERSHIP.  We have access to the gift and power of the Holy Ghost, Personal revelation.  The Lord explains, “…I will tell you in your mind and in your heart, by the Holy Ghost, which shall come upon you and which shall dwell in your heart.” (D&C 8:2)  

IN FEBRUARY OF 1847, THE PROPHET JOSEPH SMITH APPEARED TO BRIGHAM YOUNG IN A DREAM OR VISION.  PRESIDENT YOUNG ASKED THE PROPHET IF HE HAD A MESSAGE FOR THE BRETHREN.  THE PROPHET JOSEPH REPLIED, “Tell the people to be humble and faithful, and be sure to keep the spirit of the Lord and it will lead them right. Be careful and not turn away the small still voice, it will teach you what to do and where to go; it will yield the fruits of the kingdom.”  (Manuscript History of Brigham Young, 23 Feb. 1847, 2 vols., ed. Elden Jay Watson, Salt Lake City: Elden J. Watson, 1968, 1971, 2:529.)

Of all the truth he might have taught Brigham Young on that occasion, he emphasized the importance of keeping the Spirit of the Lord.  CAN WE ASK FOR MORE?

We have a handbook.

D&C 88 [“The Olive Leaf-The Lord’s Message of peace to us.”]

I will go before your face…’ (D&C 84:88)

Alma  37:37  [“Counsel with the Lord in all thy doings and he will direct thee for good. . .”]

# 1  Keep an eternal perspective.  This life is short.

I came to realize this one day in Arizona.  [Sister Kapp told a story at this point.  She said that her Niece was away from home while having a baby, and Sister Kapp was babysitting her Great Nephew.  She and the boy were painting rocks together when the boy asked her:]

“HOW MANY BIRTHDAYS DO YOU HAVE Left?”

 [Sister Kapp was surprised by the question but decided to answer that when the boys mother comes home with the new baby, she herself would leave and return to her own home in Utah and that even though she was away, the grand nephew would still know that she loved him, even though they were not together at that time.  She likened this to death, we go to separate homes for a while, but you still know that you are loved and cared about by those who you can’t be with at the time, but you know that when you can, you will all be able to feel each others love.  The boy was very satisfied with Sister Kapp’s explaination and returned to his rock painting project.]

Helaman 5:12  “…it is on the rock of our redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your foundation…”

Testimony   

 CAN WE ASK FOR MORE?

The scriptures give us an eternal perspective

Crossing the Ditch

Now I would like to share the most significant lesson on leadership of self that I learned from my father on the farm that continues to inspire, lead, guide and direct me every day. 

 It was in the springtime of the year at the end of the day.  A time to evaluate the activities of our day.  Did what we want to have happen, happen?

On [one particular] morning, my Dad and I stood side by side at the edge of our main irrigation ditch.  “I’m going to teach you how to vault across this ditch” he explained.  As I stood watching the water that seemed to get deeper and deeper and the ditch wider and wider. Sensing my obvious concern, Dad offered a suggestion, “Ardie,” he said, “Don’t look at the water in the ditch.  Look beyond the ditch.  You keep your eye on the bank on the other side.  It’s keeping your eye on the target that makes the difference.” He took the shovel that he was carrying on his shoulder, placed it in the middle of the ditch and, holding on for stability, stepped across like I had seen him do many times. Then it was my turn. He helped me get a firm hold on the handle of the shovel.  As I waited and waited at the side of the ditch, Dad said these words that resound in my heart and mind today.  “Don’t wait.  Keep your eyes on that clump of flowers on the other side of the ditch.  Give it all you’ve got and you’ll make it.”  Taking a deep breath, I tightened my grip, gave it all I had and swung forward.  I made it.  I landed right on top of the clump of flowers.  I looked back and with hands clasped over his head, Dad shouted, “I knew you could do it.” At the end of the day, as we got in the truck and were headed for home, it was time for evaluation. What did you learn today he asked in a very casual tone.  “I learned to jump the ditch,” I responded proudly.  What he had planned to have happen, happened. And the lesson continued in a tone of testimony.  “My dear, there will be a lot of irrigation ditches in life that you will have to cross,  some deep and some wide but if you keep your eye on the other side and give it all you’ve got, you will make it.”

That lesson rings true today.  Not the shovel but the iron rod.  Not the other side of the ditch but the other side of the veil, and hearing in my mind my Father and your Father whose children we are, telling us “I knew you could make it.”  “. . .Well done, thou good and faithful servant: Thou hast been faithful over a few things. . .”(Matthew 25:21)  and are ready now to take on even greater leadership responsibilities.

May God bless each of us in our leadership responsibilities and opportunities, I pray...